


Marvels of Modern Day Mechanics

by pyrexprodigy



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, F/M, OT3, Selfies, mostly messages sent to each person, practice fic, sorry about the formatting, super old like wow, they are called selfies and they are an art form
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 10:51:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4098241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyrexprodigy/pseuds/pyrexprodigy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An OT3 fic where Shepard and Tali discover the wonders of selfies and Garrus needs to stop working on his goddamn calibrations already for God’s sake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marvels of Modern Day Mechanics

**Author's Note:**

> Also known as the author really likes alliteration.
> 
> So I was looking through my old files and found this lil beauty. It's the first fic I ever wrote for this fandom!!! So I thought, despite its flaws, I'd like to upload it. If I could draw digitally I'd add art to this, but I'll have to deal with this for now!

 

Would you like to open a message from Tali?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Tali

Hey, Garrus!

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

* * *

 

 

Garrus can’t help but roll his eyes as the picture file opens in front of him. There are his two favorite women, with matching goofy expressions pointed to Tali’s camera. Well, Shepard has a goody face. She’s got her tongue stuck out at him, eyes crossed so they look at her nose. Tali, on the other hand, is just holding a hand behind Shepard’s head, little finger horns peaking up over her hair. It’s obvious from the background they’re in Sherpard’s cabin, and for a moment Garrus considers putting his work aside for a moment and going to join them.

But instead, he ignores the message and continues on with his work.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Shepard?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Shepard

We miss you babe

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

* * *

 

 

Garrus nearly chokes on his breath in when he opens the message. It looks like someone got ahold of a dry erase marker. Correction: Shepard and Tali had in turn gotten ahold of a dry erase marker.

On the front of Tali’s visor, a kitty face complete with whispers has been drawn. Courtesy of one Commander Shepard, Garrus realizes from the absolute lack of any artistic talent. In turn, Shepard is sporting some whiskers of her own, along with two ridiculous eyebrows drawn on in the same marker that Tali’s used for her kitty face.

An unwilling chuckle emerges from Garrus’s chest. He bites it back and relaxes back into work, once again ignoring the message.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Tali?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Tali

Are you ignoring me mister tough turian?

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

  


**Yes** /No

* * *

 

And there’s Tali wearing Shepard’s human undergarments on her head. A bra, was it?

Garrus ignores the message.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Shepard?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Shepard

help tali is stealing things from my drawers

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

* * *

 

And now Tali’s draped in a bathrobe. Garrus decides lime green is not her color.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Shepard?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Shepard

Garrus. Please. She’s ransacked everything.

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

Yes/ **No**

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Tali?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Tali

Yes! All of the human underwear is now mine.

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

Yes/ **No**

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Tali?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Tali

Garruuuuuuuuuuus

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

Yes/ **No**

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Shepard?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Shepard

We miiiiiiiiss you

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

Yes/ **No**

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Tali?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Tali

Shhh Shepard. Let Garrus do his calculations

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

Yes/ **No**

* * *

 

 

Would you like to open a message from Shepard?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Shepard

Calibrations

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

Yes/ **No**

* * *

 

 

Would you like to open a message from Tali?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Tali

Calibrations are very important apparently

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

Yes/ **No**

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Garrus?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Garrus

Are you seriously still sending me pictures of yourself?

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Shepard?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Shepard

They are called selfies and they are an art form.

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

* * *

 

This time, when he opens it, he laughs so loudly he’s sure Joker could hear it.

He doesn’t know why, but for some reason the sight of Shepard with a lampshade on her head is quite possibly the most hilarious thing he has ever seen.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Garrus?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Garrus

Serious Garrus says it’s time for you to put the camera away

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

* * *

 

It might be his imagination or some form of wishful thinking, but he swears he hears familiar laughter bouncing off the walls

 

* * *

 

 

Would you like to open a message from Tali?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Tali

Shepard does not like this decision.

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

* * *

 

And there’s the Commander, wearing an indignant pout. Garrus can tell from the angle that Tali is pointing the camera behind her and realizes Shepard has her arms around the quarian’s shoulders.

Maybe it’s a lie, but he promises he doesn’t start to feel a little bad when he receives that message.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Garrus?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Garrus

Shepard doesn’t need to like it.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Shepard?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Shepard

As your commanding officer I order you to put aside the fancy tools and come to my cabin this instant.

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

* * *

 

No, Shepard. Your official Alliance uniform does not mean he’ll follow your order. And put that hat away, you look ridiculous.

Garrus rubs his forehead plating and can’t help but sigh. Damn. He hasn’t gotten anything done for the past half hour and now he misses his girls. God knows what they’ve been up to besides sending “selfies” or whatever the Commander called them. He honestly never expected something like this from them. Both Tali and Shepard have their comedic moments, but this is almost something they’d do while drunk. Not that he’s seen them drunk together, but he can imagine the results.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Garrus?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Garrus

Can it wait? I’m in the middle of some calibrations.

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

* * *

 

There. He sends a picture of his current project. That should work.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Tali?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Tali

Are all turians this addicted to work?

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Shepard?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Shepard

Yes you are very smart, Garrus. We respect your work. When was the last time you slept?

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Garrus?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Garrus

Sleep is for people who don’t have to worry about the fate of the universe and your uncalibrated ship, Shepard.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Shepard?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Shepard

I’m telling Joker you said that.

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

* * *

 

A picture of the elevator. He guesses that means that Shepard is on his way to the cockpit to tell Joker this very minute. He would be afraid if it weren’t Joker.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Garrus?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Garrus

Spare me.

* * *

 

Would you like to open a message from Tali?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

 

From: Tali

Guess where we are?

 

Would you like to open the file attachment?

 

Yes/No

 

 **Yes** /No

* * *

 

Oh. That’s the door to the battery. That’s his door.

He turns to face it just as it opens, leaning back against the console with his arms crossed over his chest. Shepard and Tali trip inside giggling, marker smudged on their faces, Well, in Tali’s case, on the faceplate of her suit.

“Garrus,” Shepard says, an arm around Tali’s waste.

“Shepard.”

She snickers.

“He’s allergic to fun,” Tali whispers to the Commander, her chin resting on Shepard’s shoulder. Garrus rolls his eyes again. These two.

“What’s up?” he asks.

“We miss you,” Shepard replies, dragging Tali over to him. He pretends not to be thrown off by the proximity.

“You just saw me on the last mission,” Garrus argues, though he has to admit she has a point. Aside from missions, the three of them haven’t spent much time together lately. Then again, what would you expect from the most romantically inept turian in the galaxy?

“Come on, Garrus,” Tali says, grabbing his hand in hers. “We’re going to go have some fun for a few hours. Reapers and calibrations have been banned from all discussion. You need some fun in your life.”

He doesn’t even argue as he’s pulled from the battery, each woman pulling him along by a hand.

  
  



End file.
